It’s reasonable to assume that by the time any individual is 20 years past their own high school graduation, a look back at their senior yearbook photo more often than not prompts this head-shaking thought: “What in the world was I thinking?” And if for some reason you aren’t prompted to question the wisdom of your adolescent hairstyle and dress, all you have to do is show that yearbook photo to one of your teenaged children. Come on. . . you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Last month, my brother sent me several emails filled with digitized versions of some 35mm family slides that I hadn’t seen for decades. Looking back through dozens of still shots from my childhood and teenage years occasioned many smiles. There were also quite a few cringes and some “Oh my’s!” as I flipped through the photos. At one point, I wasn’t only questioning my personal choices for how I was presenting myself to the world at the time. I seriously wondered if there still might be time to press charges against my parents for letting me look like that out in public! 😉

That little trip down memory lane served to remind me that what I now call “the earthquake of adolescence” is a time where kids try on a variety of selves for size, all in an effort to develop an identity as everything inside and outside one’s self seems to be morphing at breakneck speed. For me, I remember that all I wanted to do was curate myself in a way that allowed me to fit in.

In today’s world, the quest to find an answer to this “Who am I?” question is a bit more complex to navigate. The adolescent world we lived through did include the task of identity formation. We all wanted to figure it out. We wondered, each of us, “Who am I?” We tried on a variety of options, some of us more options than others, and where we settled has shaped the rest of our lives. If our “Who am I?” question had been a multiple-choice question, we might have been able to choose from options a., b., c., or d. Relatively speaking, those four answers might still be options for kids today, but e., f., g., h., i., j., k. etc. are now options as well. And, as long as the options exist and are promoted everywhere kids turn, those choices will be made.

For those of us who are “in Christ,” this identity question has been settled once and for all at the cross. We have been adopted into God’s family and our identity is as adopted daughters and sons of the sovereign King of the universe! Still, our continued battles with our own flesh along with the principalities of this world leaves us wavering between times of certainty and times of doubt.

This is where I’ve found wise counsel in the words of the great theologian J.I. Packer as written in his classic book, Knowing God. Packer tells us that in order to fully understand ourselves and know our real identity we must embrace and continually preach six truths to ourselves: “I am a child of God!”, “God is my Father!”, “Heaven is my home!”, “Every day is one day nearer!”, “My Savior is my brother!”, and “Every Christian is my brother too!”

Packer continues, “Say it over and over to yourself first thing in the morning, last thing at night, as you wait for the bus, any time your mind is free, and ask that you may be enabled to live as one who knows it is all utterly and completely true. This is the Christian’s secret of a Christian life, and of a God-honoring life, and these are the aspects of the situation that really matter. May this secret become fully yours and fully mine.”

Parents, we live in a world where the identity options continue to multiply. Get your identity bearings. Teach your kids to get their bearings. Preach these truths to yourself and teach them to do the same.