Like most adolescent boys of my generation and all generations since, I was caught up in a culture where physical strength was an idol to be pursued with a passion. We believed that muscles and demonstrating feats of athletic strength were of the highest value. Visible evidence of the way in which this belief still exists today will be on display when over 100 million people tune in to watch two teams of muscle-bound football players go at it this month in Super Bowl LVIII. I have no idea which team is going to win the game, but I can accurately predict that when the goal line is crossed, a quarterback is sacked, or a defensive player makes a big stop on third down, there will be muscle-flexing galore which screams, “Look at me! I am strong!”

But bigger muscles aren’t the only mark of strength pursued in today’s world. Regardless of age or gender, we pursue the “strength” of independence, self-sufficiency, self-sovereignty, intellectual one-upmanship, social media followers, job status, physical beauty, and influence (among other things) as pathways to the joy of being able to pound our chests and say, “I’ve made it! . . . and I’ve made it on my own strength!”

Truth be told, if we and our kids are living our lives in pursuit of the culture’s widespread understanding of what makes someone strong, we’re missing out on experiencing our true source and definition of strength. In the upside-down-world of the Gospel, human strength is not the ultimate mark of our value and worth. Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world who was prophesied by Isaiah 700 years in advance of His birth, was described as one who “had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him” (Isaiah 53:2).

It should come as no surprise that the Apostle Paul went out of his way to help us understand that followers of Jesus need to live into a source and definition of strength that is completely counter-intuitive and counter-cultural. In fact, Paul’s words on strength, if embraced and lived out, will put us on the wrong side of history. . . but on the right side of God’s Word, will, and way! In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, Paul tells us that God has providentially allowed Paul to experience a “thorn in the flesh” that exists “to keep me from becoming conceited.” While no one really knows what Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” actually was, we do know that it was used by God to increase Paul’s dependence on God’s strength, rather than his own. When God told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” Paul came to understand that as God’s people, we cannot idolize and rely on our strength to carry us through life. He went on to say the exact opposite of what we’ve come to believe today: “For when I am weak, I am strong.” Alistair Begg writes, “Have you considered the possibility that your limitations, your disappointments, and your weaknesses are not detriments to effectiveness but true assets, and they bring you to lean on His strength?” Not only are we saved by grace alone and not on our own strength (Ephesians 2:8-9), but our whole lives are to be marked by resting in God’s strength in the midst or our ongoing weakness.

So, what’s the lesson for us as we parent our kids in a world that puts high value on and encourages the pursuit of dependence on one’s own strengths, rather than on the strength of the Lord? Are there steps we can take to foster a “holy weakness” and dependence on God? Here are three first-step ideas.

First, look for opportunities to point out how the world’s message of strength pushes self-reliance, self-sufficiency, and self-effort. Commercials, advertisements, movies, tv shows, and other media depictions of these lessons abound. Point them out when you see them, asking your kids, “What’s the message here?” Use these as teachable moments to raise their skills of cultural critique so that they can spot the lies, and then to counter those lies with biblical truth.

Second, walk them through the Bible’s message on our need for dependence on God’s graceful gift of His strength, rather than our own efforts. Teach them to spot the Truth! Exercise by reading, discussing, and “weight-lifting” these passages: Joshua 1:9; Philippians 4:13; Ephesians 6:10; Deuteronomy 31:6; I Chronicles 16:11; and Isaiah 40:29. Tell and re-tell the Bible accounts of God’s miraculous actions in history where His strength prevailed, including the message of the life-giving death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, where sin and death were conquered (2 Corinthians 13:4).

Finally, model and teach the humility that comes with self-awareness of your own weakness and need for dependence on God’s strength. Help them to see that in the midst of difficult times and circumstances they must not see their weakness as a pathway to certain failure, but as an opportunity to increasingly rely on God, serving God in the power of His strength. Pray Paul’s prayer with your children, “Lord, make us strong in You and Your might” (Ephesians 6:10).