Main Article: 400 to 1 Parenting
Hot Quote: Drew Barrymore
From the News: Pushing Back on Parental Stress
Trends: Smokeless Tobacco and Spitless Nicotine
Latest Research: Harder Being a Teen Today?
Quick Stats
Top Ten: Upcoming Game Releases
Helpful Insight: Balancing Faith and Works
From the Word
Podcast
Resources
Download the PDF
“What our kids need are parents who are willing to be so deeply obedient and devoted to Christ that they are willing to identify and correct the lies by always telling the truth.”
There are some pretty insidious lies floating around in the air these days, and all of us are breathing those lies in. . . especially our kids. I’m not talking here about the seasonal lies that spring up during a heated political season like we find ourselves in now. Those are bad enough. I’m talking about the lies we’ve been told so many times over the course of our lives that we not only come to believe them to be true, but we repeat them.
One especially prominent and long-living lie is this: “You can do anything you set your mind to.” History tells us that this lie was spoken over two-hundred years ago by Ben Franklin. Forty years ago, young Marty McFly, said the same thing to his father George in the movie “Back To The Future.” Since then, the “You can do anything you set your mind to” lie has been repeated in countless graduation addresses, motivational speeches, and words of encouragement from well-intentioned parents trying to inspire their kids to work hard and pursue their dreams.
Deep down inside, we all know that we can’t do just anything. None of us has unlimited capabilities. Rather, our Creator has given us each a divinely ordained set of unique gifts and abilities we are responsible to develop and use in service to Jesus Christ and His Body. God calls us to develop and use these to do that something He’s created us for, but limits us from doing anything. In other words, we have great possibilities, but they are not endless. If they were, I’d have fulfilled my childhood dream of playing catcher for the Philadelphia Phillies. It never happened because it never could happen, no matter how hard I tried.
Because our kids hear this and so many other lies over and over, our responsibility is to tell them the truth so that they might be able to know and live into the truth rather than into the lies. What our kids need are parents who are willing to be so deeply obedient and devoted to Christ that they are willing to identify and correct the lies by always telling the truth.
I was recently challenged once-again to be a fearless truth-teller when I read the story of the little-known prophet of God, Micaiah, in I Kings 22. As the story goes, King Ahab is considering going to war against the king of Syria in order to take some territory. After being asked to form an alliance with Ahab, King Jehoshaphat tells his ally to first inquire of the prophets about whether or not to do this, and 400 of Ahab’s prophets, all “yes-men”, answer in the affirmative in order to tell Ahab not the truth, but what he wants to hear. Disturbed and unconvinced by this, Jehoshaphat asks Ahab to inquire of one more prophet, Micaiah. Ahab balks, saying that he hates Micaiah because “he never prophesies anything good for me.” Micaiah is summoned and told by a messenger to come and tell Ahab what he wants to hear. But Micaiah won’t play that game: He says, “As the Lord lives, what the Lord says to me, that I will speak.” Imagine the kind of courage it took for this one man to speak the truth in the midst of 400 others who would propagate lies by only saying what Ahab wanted to hear?
Parents, there’s a challenging reminder for us here if we desire, as we should, to obediently fulfill our calling to faithfully nurture our kids spiritually and guide them through cultural lies and into God’s truth. In addition, Proverbs tells us that “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22). The Apostle Paul offers additional marching orders. After telling the Ephesian Christians to put off their old lives of ignorance and deceit, each one of them is to honor and glorify Christ by speaking the truth (Ephesians 4:25).
Are you taking the time to recognize the insidious lies that are out there? Are you able to spot them quickly because you spend time in God’s Word learning the truth? Are you willing to go against the flow by being perhaps that one voice teaching the truth in the midst of hundreds of others that are lying lips? Seek the truth! Know the truth! Tell the truth all the time!
“I wished many times when I was a kid that someone would tell me no. I wanted so badly to rebel all the time, and it was because I had no guardrails. I had too much access and excess, and eventually, “no” actually became a challenge.”
Drew Barrymore
Drew Barrymore, a small excerpt of her recent Instagram post titled “Phone Home” where she spoke of her childhood, boundaries, parenthood, the challenges our kids face using smartphones and social media, and more.
Instagram @drewbarrymore, August 30, 2024
PUSHING BACK ON PARENTAL STRESS
The recently released U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents tells us that 41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed that they cannot function.
Did you hear that? That’s four out of ten parents! At the end of the report, there is an action section which lists what parents and caregivers can do to reverse this trend. Three of the suggestions are things that can happen in the context of our church ministries. First caring for yourself is a part of caring for your family. Are you sitting under the preaching and teaching of God’s Word, attending worship, and engaging in daily times with the Lord? Second, the report encourages nurturing connections with other parents and caregivers. Are you connecting with other parents in your church for fellowship, prayer, and support? Finally, empower yourself with information about mental health care. Are you going to the Scriptures to find rest and encouragement for your soul?
TRENDS:
Smokeless Tobacco and Spitless Nicotine
The American Lung Association is reporting that while smoking conventional cigarettes and electronic cigarettes is on the decline among our children and teens, the use of non-combustible tobacco products known as “smokeless and spitless nicotine pouches” is growing in popularity. Thanks to marketing efforts and the viral nature of social media promotion, there has been a 641% increase in sales of products like Zyn, On!, Rouge, Velo, Juice Head, Zone, and Lucy. Research on these addictive nicotine delivery systems indicates that over a quarter of those who use them are under the age of 21. With nicotine sales limited by law to those over the age of 21, we must teach kids that God has given them the responsibility to obey the laws of the government. Finally, teach them that in I Corinthans 6:19-20, we learn that stewarding the health of their God-given bodies is not only their responsibility, but an act of worship.
LATEST RESEARCH:
Harder Being a Teen Today?
When you were growing up, how many times did you hear your parents begin a sentence with these words: “When I was your age. . .” What usually followed was some kind of revelation comparing the relative ease of teenage life in your world, with the unimaginable difficulties your parents faced during their own adolescence. This includes the stereotypical account of walking ten miles to school in sub-zero weather and three feet of snow. Recently, Pew Research asked parents, “compared with twenty years ago, do you think being a teenager today is harder, easier or about the same?” Nearly seven out of ten parents say that it’s harder today than it was 20 years ago. When asked about what has made it harder, it’s not surprising that social media and technology are what sit at the top of the list. It’s good that we’re waking up to this fact. It will be even better if we fulfill our God-ordained parenting responsibility by establishing borders and boundaries on all things technology.
Over 1/3 of global pornography viewership on Pornhub was female in 2022, an increase of 51% since 2014. Over 11% of females said they were first exposed to pornography at 7 years old or younger, and 47% said their first exposure was between 8-12 years-old.
(Pornhub/SheRecovery)
The average THC content of marijuana in the 1960’s was 2-3%. Today, it is routinely 20% or more, making it roughly 10 times more potent.
(NBCNews Reports)
Upcoming Gaming Releases to Watch Out For
Source: Beano Brain Insights, September 24, 2024
1. EA Sports FC 25
2. Call of Duty: Black Ops 6
3. NBA 2K25
4. Super Mario Party: Jamboree
5. The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom
BALANCING FAITH AND WORKS
by WALT MUELLER
Have you ever thought about how to best teach your kids about the proper balance between faith and works? In I Peter 2:10 we read that God has shown us great mercy and grace by giving us new life in Christ and calling us into God’s family. But we tend to forget that as God’s people we are now sojourners and exiles in this world.
Peter goes on to tell us to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against the soul. Our commitment to good works and God-honoring behavior is to flow out of the gratitude we have for the gift of our salvation.
Perhaps these words from Charles Spurgeon are words you can absorb into yourself, and pass on to your kids. Spurgeon writes, “Good works must be in the Christian. They are not the root, but the fruit of his salvation. They are not the way of the believer’s salvation, they are his walk in the way of salvation.”
Parents, nurture your kids in ways that lead them to understand that true growth bears good fruit!
“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”
Proverbs 12:22
The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once verbalized one of the ugly outcomes of being told a lie: “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” As parents who have at times been lied to by our kids, we understand how trust is broken in ways that make us doubt if what we hear afterwards is at all trustworthy. Lies are dangerous in so many ways. They block the truth. They lead astray. They undermine relationships. They can steer kids off the narrow path that leads to life, putting them on the wide road that leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13).
It should come as no surprise that our holy sovereign God who is truth and who is the source of all truth would communicate His will for us to reflect and represent him by holding to and telling the truth. The Ninth commandment (Exodus 20:16) forbids lying, and all of Scripture testifies to that which is true, along with God’s expectation for His followers to value, embrace, and tell the truth. As we read in Proverbs 12:22, those who faithfully tell the truth glorify God and bring Him delight, but those who lie are an abomination that He loathes.
With our children and teens living through a tumultuous and change-filled period of life where they are seeking answers to questions like “Who am I?”, “What do I believe?”, and “Where do I belong?” they need trustworthy voices who will answer by truthfully communicating God’s Word, will, and way. Are you seeking and telling the truth to your kids without compromise? Will they grow up knowing and trusting that you are believable, or will you ultimately be held out as just another un-believable voice?
Youth Culture Matters is a long-format podcast from CPYU hosted by Walt Mueller.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT EPISODE 190:
“Grace-Filled Identity Formation” with Jonathan Holmes
Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ gives parents a guide to understanding how a child’s identity is formed in today’s world and why it leads to insecurity and confusion.
Children and teens face a tremendous amount of pressure from their peers and culture to find their identity in their activities, feelings, or performance. This modern way of looking at identity can be challenging to navigate for parents who grew up with a traditional view of identity rooted in predetermined roles. What if they could help their children and teenagers find their identity in something that never went away and never changed based on their ability or performance—an identity grounded in God’s grace?
Jonathan Holmes explores the five core areas of identity struggles most common to teens: sports, academics, moralism, sexual orientation, and gender confusion. He provides parents with a biblical foundation to work from and practical tools to help their teen find their identity based on who God says they are.
- Encourages parents to play a crucial role in guiding their children through the challenges of identity formation, encouraging a reliance on a stable, God-given identity rather than conforming to external or internal pressures.
- Helps parents to engage in gospel-centered conversations with their children and teens, using reflection questions for self-examination.
- Readers will be guided in helping children and teens build their secure identity on the gospel of grace.
© 2024 All rights reserved. The CPYU Parent Page is published monthly by the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, a nonprofit organization committed to building strong families by serving to bridge the cultural-generational gap between parents and teenagers.