Have you ever heard it said that “a picture is worth a thousand words?” I recently saw two pictures that speak thousands of words about the ways in which childhood has morphed and changed in recent years.

The first was a live “picture” that I witnessed as I pulled into the parking lot at a local strip mall. A mother and two of her children were emerging from the doors of a restaurant and heading to their car. Mom carried her purse in one hand and the cell phone she was focused on in her other. Her pre-teen son and elementary-aged daughter both wore large sets of brightly colored headphones over their ears, which were wired into the iPads they were carrying under their arms. There’s a good chance – a very good chance – that those electronic devices were the focus of their attention as they had eaten their meal. . . together but alone. If that was indeed the case, little or no human interaction had taken place inside, just like I was seeing now. I couldn’t help but think that this picture captured the “new normal” where researchers tell us that our kids are spending an average of over eight hours a day with their eyes locked on screens.

The second picture is one a friend showed me. “Look at this!” he said. “It’s the neighbor’s three kids playing in their driveway!” He took it, he said, because it captured something we see less and less of these days: children playing outside without any electronic devices in sight. Amazed by the rarity of what he was witnessing, he had to document it with a picture.

Those two pictures speak volumes about what social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has called “The Great Rewiring of Childhood.” In his recent book, The Anxious Generation: How The Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, Haidt makes a compelling case regarding the many negative consequences of the transition from children growing up through a “play-based childhood” of years past, to what has now become a “phone-based childhood.” A growing body of research offers clear evidence that among other negative consequences, this shift has led to a breakdown in relationships, a decline in critical thinking skills, the loss of resilience, and a rapidly rising tide of stress, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.

As Christian parents, our greatest desire should be to educate our kids from the time they are born into what it means to live as a faithful follower and disciple of Jesus Christ. As the Apostle Paul tells the Ephesians, we are to bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). But when we give our kids almost limitless access to smartphones and other electronic devices we are actually bringing them up in the discipline (or lack thereof!) and instruction of whatever the cultural narrative is feeding them through the online world. And because it’s their eyes and ears which are focused on the screens and not our own, we have no idea what they might be learning about who they are, and how they are to live in the world.

In The Anxious Generation, Haidt not only sounds the alarm, but he offers four concrete reforms which will serve to rewire the rewiring of childhood in healthy ways that he believes will spare our kids and our society from the dangerous fallout of life in this digital age. He doesn’t demonize smartphones and other devices, but he does believe in setting limits. I think his suggestions are good ones as they employ common-sense, and if enacted can reverse damaging trends. What are they?

First, no smartphones before high school. For almost 20 years now I’ve had concerned parents ask me, “At what age should I get my child a smartphone?” None of us want our kids to be left out, but being left out from that which has dangerous short and long-term consequences is a good thing. Haidt says that only basic phones with limited apps and no internet browser should be available to kids under the age of 14.

Second, no social media before 16. Haidt believes that kids need to get through the most vulnerable periods of brain development before they are connected to “a firehose of social comparison and algorithmically chosen influencers.”

Third, phone-free schools. This fall, many schools are adopting this policy. They need to have their attention freed to focus on each other and their teachers. I would add that schools which are allowing phones only at lunch should rethink that policy as well. After all, the school lunch hour is an important time for developing socialization and interactive skills.

Finally, far more unsupervised play and childhood independence. It’s those backyard baseball games, hikes in the woods, and driveway activities that are foundational to building resilience and for developing the skills needed to manage interpersonally throughout life.

Enacting these ideas won’t cost you a dime. In fact, you’ll be saving money. What they will cost you is your time. But what a blessing it will be to recover the kind of time that will increase your parental influence as you fulfill this high calling and privilege of nurturing our children in the Christian faith!