What was supposed to be a five-minute detour to use a truck stop restroom took much longer than expected for our group of college-aged friends headed south over winter break in the late 1970s. Our attention, time, and every quarter we had were captured by our discovery of a Coin Pusher. If you’re not familiar with this enticing machine, it features a moving metal shelf on which sit hundreds of quarters. Using a small slot, we poured in every quarter we had, one at time, hoping that each “investment” of 25 cents would land in a place that would push the pile forward, allowing several other quarters on the shelf’s edge to drop into the payout tray for our taking. Every single one of us begged “Just one more!” as the machine gripped our attention. In the end, we walked out of that truck stop as losers, having far less change than when we had entered.

In today’s world, the devices, apps, games, and social media combine to capture and hold our attention, time, and money 24/7. Do you lament the grip the digital world has on your kids? Like that Coin Pusher I encountered all those years ago, our devices and apps are designed to keep us engaged. . . always leading us to pursue that “Just one more!” We’re all susceptible to the ways these things – by design – spark the release of the neurotransmitter Dopamine, the pleasure chemical that keeps us craving and coming back for more. But it’s our kids whose brains, time, and relationships are being hijacked during this crucial age of brain formation and development. They might be the most vulnerable to the intentional use of psychological knowledge, behavioral science, and the biochemistry of the brain to influence human behavior and cause addiction. It’s called “persuasive design.”

In her book, Dopamine Kids, Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff pulls back the curtain to show how screens and apps are designed to capture and addict our kids. Doucleff cites the work of New York University Professor Natasha Dow Schull on how the same “get-em-hooked” tactics used by the gambling industry are used by the designers of devices, games, social media, and apps to hold our children’s attention as long as possible. Schull concludes that there is a recipe using four key ingredients that “produce the opposite of human flourishing.”

Ingredient #1: Solitude. Take advantage of the fact that the relationship is between an individual and their screen. By being isolated from others, the machine/app is able to draw you in because nobody is around to interrupt you. When our kids are alone in their rooms, it’s just them, the screen, and the algorithms that are tracking their every move.

Ingredient #2: Bottomless Nonclosure. Scroll, scroll, and keep on scrolling. Why? Because you’ll never get to the end of the TikToks, YouTube videos, or Instagram photos and reels. Schull says that when apps and games have no end point, they become more addictive. And once the algorithms know your kids, they’ll keep feeding them more of what it is that grabs and holds them.

Ingredient #3: Speed. By building in the ability to play and scroll at high-speed, developers know that kids will lose track of time and space, sending them spiraling down the rabbit hole.

Ingredient #4: Making Big Promises, Withholding the Reward. Ok. . . so that’s what sucked us in to that Coin Pusher. In today’s digital world, it’s not primarily the financial reward that’s being sought. Rather, it’s the craving to meet our most fundamental needs for acceptance, friendship, support, and belonging. Continually working to post, get the likes, accumulate the positive comments, go viral, get to the next level in a game, or unlock a special feature are the “quarters” our kids seek.

As Christian parents, how can we help our kids avoid the addiction trap that can so quickly undermine their well-being?

First, there are the immediate practical steps we must take to set time and age limits (no phones before the age of 16!). We can encourage developing hobbies. We can carve out family time and eat our meals together. We can turn off the notifications on our phones and take social media Sabbaths. And, we must encourage peer involvement with a church youth group.

Second, there are truths from God’s Word to teach and model day-by-day. Fight back against hermit-like solitude by helping them see that God has made us for relationships (Genesis 2:18, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Hebrews 10:24-25). Teach them that to steward and use their time wisely is an act of worship (Ephesians 5:15-16, Psalm 90:12, Proverbs 6:6-8). And finally, help them see that the true object of all their yearnings can only be answered by the Gospel as they come into a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ (Psalm 107:9, Psalm 42:1-2, Ecclesiastes 3:11, John 7:37-38).

Let’s pray that our kids realize now and for the rest of their lives, that the “just one more!” we are always hoping for will never come through a screen. Rather, only Jesus Christ can satisfy their deepest desires, and because salvation should not be sought and cannot be found in anyone else.